I've been trying to take steps towards my goals. I setup an online shop where people can order custom art. I bought shipping supplies. My art room is ready. And now I wait.
I envision making original abstract art soon or maybe some floral paintings. I collect images on Pinterest of art that inspires. I make a list of a few supplies I still need. I print enlarged photos of things I might like to paint.
It feels like I'm taking baby steps forward, not so graceful, but an awkward attempt to move into something new. It also feels like each step forward is met with resistance in various forms.
It reminded me of earlier today with Oliver. His Grandma, my mother-in-law lives around the corner from us. He's not old enough to walk to her house yet, but since he turned 4 she told him he could meet her at the corner (while I am watching him from the driveway). I thought, oh he'll love that new bit of independence. But of course even something so simple did not go smoothly.
Our elderly neighbor was out riding his lawn mower wearing his mask as usual. He mows everyday when the sun is out, even in the winter. Yes, everyday. As we wait for Grandma to arrive at the corner our neighbor thinks we are awkwardly just starring at him, and so he rides over to talk to us. I explain we are waiting for Oliver's Grandma.
Next, we see Grandma waving at us from the corner, so our neighbor starts up the lawn mower which frightens Oliver. He now refuses to walk through the yard. So the neighbor kindly rides his mower on the street so Oliver can pass through his yard and not be frightened. But then Oliver takes forever to get to the corner because he keeps stopping to pick up leaves or grass from his yard on the way to the corner! But he finally makes it.
That's how stepping out to do something new can sometimes feel; it's exciting, but then awkward, sometimes scary, and you may get distracted along the way.
On Instagram I recently came across a post by @sacredordinarydays which reminded me that "the church is currently in the second season of Ordinary Time. This is the longest liturgical season of the year, lasting until the start of Advent. During this time (you might think of it as the time between the high seasons of the church year,) we focus on growth, discipline and devotion, day by day. Growth can be hard, but often times these seasons of growth bear beautiful fruit."
And then I also read an Instagram post by Ruth Simons @Gracelaced; You don't have to be blooming to be growing.
This encouraged me to stay focused and to work on being disciplined, even if the growth isn't obvious or how I expect it to look. I also remind myself to celebrate progress and to keep taking the next step in love; both things I learned from taking Emily P Freeman's course School of Creative Direction. It's been great advice that I return to often. Also, one more way I recommend dealing with resistance is to take time for actual walking/running; so I've been on my treadmill and listening to encouraging music and podcasts. I think exercise and music helps!